Hidden Costs of High Self-Control

As humans people face all sorts of temptations—wanting to play video games when you know you should study, or wanting to get a burger and fries when you are on a diet. In these situations, we aspire to make the "right" decision, the decision that propels us towards our long-term goals. Not surprisingly, most people consider having high self-control an admirable trait.

But let's take a moment to think about a person who displays high self-control, for example, someone who always wakes up early, never allows for any distractions from their work, and adheres to a strict diet, budget, and workout regimen. On the one hand, high self-control individuals are driven, disciplined, and determined, coming across as ambitious. On the other hand, and for the same reasons, they can also be viewed as uptight, cold, uninteresting, formulaic, and mechanical—almost like a robot.

In fact, our recent research suggests that people perceived as high in self-control are viewed as more robot-like. We asked participants to either nominate their own acquaintances who were high or average in self-control, or read about strangers who were described as having high or average self-control.  How were these people viewed? Consistently, a high self-control person was viewed as more robot-like compared to the average self-control target.

High Self-Control = Less Human?

Those who demonstrate high self-control overcome their desires and temptations so effectively that they may appear to experience those temptations less strongly or not at all. But feeling desires and giving into temptations is a natural part of what makes us human. Therefore, those who never succumb to their temptations, or don't feel them in the first place, are viewed as not fully human because they lack this innate "human error." Consequently, they are viewed as a machine or robot and thus are dehumanized. This mechanistic dehumanization can lead to negative consequences in the dehumanized person's interpersonal relationships, which was observed in some of our studies. We found that the high self-control targets, who were dehumanized as machines and robots, were also viewed as less warm, and the participants were less interested in socializing with them compared to the average self-control target.

We find these results especially interesting because, generally, people tend to view self-control as an 'internal affair.' But the research suggests that how much we regulate ourselves also affects how others view us. Furthermore, they shed light on the hidden costs of high self-control in a sea of research showing mostly its benefits (such as success at school and at work). But, we could also be missing out on opportunities. Never allowing yourself to indulge in a delicious burger or miss a study session may lead to benefits for your health or academic success, but it might also stop your peers from extending you an invite to hang out with them.

Further, this research also highlights the social issue of seeing and describing others as "less than human." Whether it is intentional or unintentional, dehumanization can have harmful consequences, and therefore it is important that we remember to treat people as humans and with respect. While iron self-discipline is often strived for, the way it is perceived may lead to unintentional negative consequences in places like our social or work relationships. Efforts to prevent those consequences might include making time to get to know your acquaintances so you can establish a stronger bond, or re-humanizing your workplace by celebrating the pro-social efforts of colleagues instead of only their good performance.

In understanding both sides of self-control perceptions, we can work to address the unfavorable outcomes for those with high self-control, while offering a more accurate picture, and perhaps some comfort, to those who want to eat ice cream after going to the gym.

For Further Reading

Lapka, S. P., Kung, F. Y. H., Brienza, J. P., & Scholer, A. A. (2022). Determined yet dehumanized: People higher in self-control are seen as more robotic. Social Psychological and Personality Science. https://doi.org/10.1177/19485506221093109

Lapka, S. & Kung, F. Y. H. (2021). Signaling trustworthiness: A self-regulation account. In M. P. Levine (Eds.), The psychology of trust. IntechOpen. https://doi.org/10.5772/intechopen.101326

Haslam, N., & Loughnan, S. (2014). Dehumanization and infrahumanization. Annual Review of Psychology, 65, 399–423. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010213-115045

Samantha Lapka is a PhD student in the Social Psychology Department at The Ohio State University. She studies how mindsets, beliefs, and perceptions about self-control can impact motivation, success in goal attainment, and well-being.

Franki Kung is an Assistant Professor of Psychological Sciences and director of the Conflict and Mindset Collaboratory and Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion Science Consortium at Purdue University. His research focuses on lay beliefs and conflict management.